So today seems like a good time to talk, think, and speak about one of the most common phrases everyone wants to hear. That most insidious “I love you.” It seems like a good way to express love. Certainly “I love you” is not a bad stepping stone to peace, but really, I’m beginning to see that I have some serious issues with both the “I” and the “you” part of I love you.
Let’s take the you part of the sentiment and see what it’s doing. Buried underneath the “you” is an assumption that I never seemed to question. I took for granted that I knew what love is. That’s it, plain and simple. It is not my place to tell you what love is, but if you read my second post, you’ll get a sense of what I believe it to be. Can you really take a concept as vast and unquantifiable as love and collapse it down to attach to a person? Love has no object. This is a truth that is clearer to me ever since I more consistently started falling into function to be truly helpful and collapse the past and present into the now. All that’s left is an experience of indescribable joy that cannot be limited by form. This love is so perfect and complete, love of an object pales by comparison. This unconditional love does not make one object special. Rather it loves all things by seeing them the same, worthy of love, and without any other purpose. It seems to me that the belief that it is possible to love an object is actually a shroud over intense fear, because if there are objects that can be loved, there are also objects that can be hated. And so both love and hate seem real to the mind. It is impossible to attain consistent peace while both love and fear seem real. You cannot be peaceful by first seeing fear as real and then forgiving. You will never see cause to forgive in that case. The only way to consistent peace will be to forgive what never was. Fear is not real because love is all encompassing, and any attempt to ascribe love to an object is to invite it’s opposite into your mind, from which state, peace becomes impossible.
So now we’re down to “I love.” Which is all well and good, but unfortunately still entails a sense of strain. Who is the “I” you are talking about when you say that you love someone? If you view love as a verb, then you still believe that both love and fear are real. If love is something that you do, it invites the possibility of not doing it. If love is what you are, then there is no choice, or need to do anything to extend love. It simply is what always was, and searching gives way to acceptance. I love becomes I, love. Anytime the thought of love involves “doing” anything, anytime loving entails a sense of strain, I have identified with an illusion. There is no need to do anything to be loving. Simply give way to the present moment and allow spontaneous right-action to pour forth from a healed mind. It is a moment by moment decision (as I am painfully aware right now). This is why any mind training cannot aim to teach the meaning of love because the meaning of love is an abstract experience, wholly beyond concepts. I am gladly reminded that the purpose of mind training is only to remove blocks from the awareness of love’s presence in the mind. Through this mind training, we become convinced that love is not a verb, but what we already are.
What does this mean practically, then? I don’t want readers to come away with the belief that using the words I love you is in any way bad or wrong. Words are wholly neutral, and like anything else in this world, take on only the meaning that you give to them. So it is fine to use these words. But if you believe love has an object or that love is a verb, you are capable of feeling and being so much more. You are capable of being consistently happy, consistently peaceful, and in fact, in reality, you already are these things. You can identify with fear all you wish, but it will always be shown to be nothing when raised up to the light. The practice of meditation is for this purpose. It is to show the deceived mind that there is no need to struggle against fear when it is simply recognized as unreal. It is the purpose you imbue the words with that give them meaning. If the purpose is to collapse love down and make you search for it, you will suffer. If the purpose is to identify with what you truly are, you will be happy in that moment. These are the only two choices there are where love is concerned, love being everything there is!
I, love, you.
This sort of construction could be helpful if the purpose of love is not firmly fixed in mind. Ex. You could say I, love, you went for a walk in the park today. Alternatively, I, love, you, gave him, love, I, you a hug. See the thing is, when you have an experience of this love and realize that there is only one mind, pronouns become fairly interchangeable. And we can start having fun with appositives. Some will think this is just mincing words, but remember, it is the purpose of your words that is important. If you are clear on your purpose, it really doesn’t matter what you say. If you are not, I offer I, love, you as a substitute to I love you if that’s helpful!