Earlier this week I happened to find my may to the ACIM Devotional Center web site. I noticed there was a blog and clicked the link. A beautiful blog entry unfolded before me from my mighty companion and devotional center co-habitant, Zach. As I read through the blog I felt a crunch in my chest and heard the words “how come I haven’t been asked to blog”? The contraction of smallness seemed to grab my attention. Yep, I could feel it. I just defined myself as less. It is so humbling to recognize how in that moment I had chosen to give up joy. The opportunity to fully experience the deep lesson and love in Zach’s expression dropped from awareness.
“Stand still an instant now, and think what you have done. Do not forget that it is you who did it, and who can therefore let it go.” (Song of Prayer, 1.III.4 )
Oh, I can choose again! Gratitude sweeps into my heart knowing that it has been through the help of my mighty companions at the Center that I remembered quickly to sink back into the now in order to find peace. It is their dedication to all joy is a choice in this moment that helped me quickly recognize this misperception and give it over to truth. I handed the idea of blogging over to the greater wisdom of Spirit and my mind floated free.
Yet in the ineffable way Spirit has of showing me I really don’t know anything, the next day Salita asked, “Who wants to write blog for the Center?” I thought, “Oh jeeze, there you go. You can share how you watched your mind spin around blogging.” Humble, yes indeed. I am gently reminded that Spirit definitely has a sense of humor and wisdom far beyond my understanding. Thankfully Spirit keeps showing up in my mind through these mighty companions who shine a light in the right direction.
In the story of the past I felt I was “less quick” in linear time in accepting my choice and thus would spin into fear. It felt so real. I have come to realize how often I accepted the spinning into fear of separation. I did not want to be responsible for my thoughts and choice to join with Spirit and his representatives, my brothers. To my ego this felt like loss. I wanted someone or something else to be responsible. There was a deep anger about it, too, this resistance to owning the power of my mind to choose again to join.
Yet I know in my heart that stepping forward to join with a brother is the healing of this fear of separation. It is a celebration of what is already joined and honors what God made as holy and blessed. My gratitude pours out when I remember the times in the past when I spun out in fear, only to look up find the stillness in the eyes of a mighty loving companion here at the Center. Like the Holy Spirit, they stand beside me beaming light and inviting me to join in stillness and in love that is ever present. Where I would have found guilt about spinning out I can recognize that now is a new choice for love in each moment.
This constant gift is given that I may remember always to welcome the opportunity to choose again. The memory of light brings great joy as I reflect the gift back to my brothers.
“You who hold your brother’s hand also hold mine, for when you joined each other you were not alone. Do you believe that I would leave you in the darkness that you agreed to leave with me? In your relationship is this world’s light. And fear must disappear before you now.” (T-18. III.4)